It’s the offseason in the football world, so for us pundits, it’s time for completely wrong predictions and ridiculous hypotheticals. That being said, let’s have some fun, and create the ULTIMATE college football coaching staff. The task is very simple:
- Take ANY current college football coach, and place him in any role you choose to maximize an epic staff.
Here’s how I would create a diabolical coaching staff:
Head Coach: Nick Saban
This one was very nearly coach Harbaugh out of Michigan, but I decided to give the edge to the coach with more titles (easily Saban). Saban is a phenomenal organizer and workaholic who can lay out a plan to succeed for his underlings and players like no other. He also is a legendary recruiter, and is about as experienced as they come with over 25 years as a head coach with four national championships. He’ll lead a stellar staff.
Co-Offensive Coordinators: Urban Meyer, Gus Malzahn, and Art Briles
I have never been a huge fan of a spread offense, but the three greatest offensive minds in the college game uncoincidentally believe wholeheartedly in that system. Meyer has created some epic spread offenses featuring dominant mobile quarterbacks with Tebow, Miller, Barrett, and Jones while utilizing a smash mouth run game. Malzahn likewise enjoys mobile, athletic QB’s, but prefers far more creativity and finesse in the run game reliant on speed sweeps, end arounds, and more. Meanwhile, there is one of the first proponents of the spread game with Briles who’s consistently fielded unstoppable Baylor offenses. It would be egregious to leave him out. He would bring his penchant for exciting vertical passing elements to an already excellent system.The three complement each other excellently to create what would be a downright special spread system.
Quarterback Coach: Jimbo Fisher
Jimbo has long been known as a QB guru, and he flat out gets results. Simply, look at the past three FSU signal callers: Christian Ponder, EJ Manuel, Jameis Winston- all round one NFL draft picks. He fully understands how to develop stud quarterbacks into stars, and how to pilot complex pro element offenses. He’d have to adjust to coaching a spread offense, but he’d still continue to produce phenomenal players behind center year after year.
Running Backs Coach: Dennis Erickson
This might confuse some more impasse fans, but diehard fans are well aware that former two time national title winning head coach Dennis Erickson came out of retirement to coach running backs at Utah. He had nothing left to prove, but here is a man who simply loves the game and couldn’t stay away. He not only was an innovative offensive mind of the one back offense back when he was running a Miami dynasty in the ‘90’s, but he’s also produced some exciting running backs recently including the incredibly versatile Devontae Booker. He’d bring some old school swagger to the coaching staff.
Wide Receivers Coach: Chad Morris
Morris created some entertaining offenses at Clemson, and he’s churned out some star receivers. Simply look to Sammy Watkins, Artavis Scott, Mike Williams, and co. for evidence. He also, once again, fits right into the spread philosophy that has taken over our offense. He’d continue to turn out amazing receivers making electric plays.
Tight Ends Coach: Brian Kelly
Anybody who ranks Notre Dame over Miami as the tight end U is an idiot, but when it comes to recent tight end success Notre Dame is tops as created by head man Brian Kelly. He’s developed guys like Tyler Eifert and Troy Niklas into full fledged NFL caliber players. He’s the best in the business when it comes to tight ends.
Co- Offensive Line Coaches: Mario Cristobal and Art Kehoe
Here we have two guys with big time UM connections. Art Kehoe has been Miami’s offensive line coach for seemingly forever, and won five national titles in that role. He’s a hardass veteran coach who takes no shit and creates NFL starter after NFL starter. His track record is impeccable, and he’s a truly underrated assistant coach. Meanwhile, Cristobal as a former Miami player has developed into an excellent coach, most recently as Alabama’s offensive line coach. He’s an amazing recruiter (#1 in the nation according to 247), and navigated Alabama’s offensive line through uncertainty into dominance with a true freshman left tackle in his first year as line coach. These two would have a good cop, bad cop kind of vibe that would create formidable offensive lines.
Co-Defensive Coordinators: Will Muschamp and Mark Dantonio
Muschamp may have been fired from Florida for his run for three downs for a loss and punt offense, but his defenses were scarily good. He consistently created all around great defenses that carried the team, and created a pipeline to the NFL. Dantonio too has for years been a tremendous defensive mind from his days as a coordinator at Ohio State to his recent dominance at Michigan State. The two would create a stifling defense.
Defensive Backs Coach: Bud Foster
I had to get him on the list somewhere. Foster should be a head coach by now, and his pass defenses have always been silent but deadly. He’s a defensive mastermind who would excel in this role.
Linebackers Coach: Kirby Smart
The Alabama defensive coordinator knows how to build violent stud linebackers (looking at you CJ Mosley). He’s a bright defensive mind who is a welcome addition to this staff.
Co-Defensive Line Coaches: Craig Kugliogowski and Ed Orgeron
Kugliogowski, Who the hell is that? That’s the man responsible for Missouri’s emergence on the national stage. He’s forged ridiculous lines the past two years with Michael Sam, Kony Ealy, Shane Ray, and Markus Golden. He might not be the sexiest of hires, but the man can flat out coach. Meanwhile, I just couldn’t stand to leave out Ed Orgeron. He may have a myraid of NCAA skeletons in his closet, but the man is the best defensive line coaches in the nation. And arguably top five all time. From his time at Miami and USC, he developed some of the greatest defensive lineman all time, and has always been an amazing recruiter. These two would create some dominant defensive lines.
Recruiting Coordinator: Steve Sarkisian
Have you seen how USC has finished the past two years on the recruiting trail? Talk about top tier recruiting, all thanks to up and coming head coach Steve Sarkisian. USC became the first school in years to truly challenge Alabama for the recruiting title, and has evolved once again into a recruiting powerhouse. Sarkisian would bring stellar recruiting prowess to this staff.
Well there you have it, that’s how you create the perfect college football coaching staff. Now if we could just lure these coaches down to Miami…